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Delegate who spent last two days nodding and smiling still has no idea what...
Despite an enthusiastic response, none of the Belt and Road delegates have a clue what they are applauding BEIJING (China Daily Show) – A senior delegate to China’s ‘One Belt, One Road’ forum in...
View ArticleEarth begs China not to take lead on climate change
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – The Earth today pleaded for China not to be considered the global leader on climate change, warning it was actually an environmental clusterfuck. “Look,” the Earth said....
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Huge thunderstorm on night of Liu Xiabo’s death indicates gods are pleased,...
By HAO BA Weather Correspondent The brooding scene confirms that everything is just fine BEIJING (China Daily Show) – Sheet lightning, loud thunder cracks and rain pouring over China’s capital on the...
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Foreigner embarrasses everyone by wearing qipao
By HUI JIA Foreigner Correspondent Ehrlich (left), in his preferred garb XIAN (China Daily Show) – A middle-aged American male caused widespread embarrassment Sunday, after attending a friend’s...
View ArticleGuy attending secretive government enclave thinks too many decisions being...
BEIDAHE – Too many key decisions at a top-secret government retreat are being made behind closed doors, an unnamed political aide told friends in Beijing yesterday. In the last few weeks, dozens of...
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Opinion: ‘Let me give you my invaluable insight from spending a whole week in...
On my return journey, I had a stopover in Mumbai Airport, from which I also gleaned remarkable insights I’m in the business lounge of Shanghai airport, one of 400 world-class international aviation...
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Foreign readers keen to comprehensively study new Xi Jinping book: Report
The book’s cover has been hailed by designers as “pre-revolutionary” By FEI HUA Propaganda Correspondent BEIJING (China Daily Show) – Overseas readers are lining up in cities across the world to...
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Opinion: What the Western media gets completely wrong in its unbalanced...
I find it insulting to be asked questions like, is even a single drop of water denied the doomed’s thirsting lips? After all, I’m doing fine A few weeks ago, an ancient succubus called Malphezus gave...
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Allegations of sexual propriety against senior Communist Party official shock...
By RONG REN Politics Correspondent BEIJING (China Daily Show) – Just weeks before a key Chinese leadership meeting, explosive allegations been leveled against a senior politician, claiming he treated...
View ArticleChina expert ready to make confident, completely wrong predictions
BEIJING (China Daily Show) – An expert on Chinese politics is preparing to make a wide-ranging variety of confident and completely hopeless predictions, it was announced yesterday. Garth Finklebaum,...
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Wealthy white guy wonders where it all went so right
Balls added that, in a true meritocracy, anyone can marry a Golden Sachs banker BEIJING (China Daily Show) – Studying the Chinese system, Daniel Balls, a white scholar, had just one question: Why have...
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Those Lu Wei corruption charges in full
Lu was considered “shady as fuck” even by Politburo standards: Source Beijing has denounced its former cyberspace czar Lu Wei as a “typical two-faced man” who “severely polluted the political ecology…...
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‘China not to blame’: China
By HU MI Diplomacy Correspondent Officials at the Ministry of Defensiveness meet the press BEIJING (China Daily Show) – China should not be blamed for something, officials today confirmed, cautioning...
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Chinese billionaires sing and dance at Politburo Christmas party
By XI WIZ New Era Correspondent The Man in the Iron Ma: In an emotional Yuletide plea for forgiveness, the Alibaba chief begged for mercy BEIJING (China Daily Show) — A procession of Chinese...
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China to reopen next week as Qing-style authoritarian shopping mall
By WEINI PU Dynasty Correspondent Thousands of Chinatowns are planned for the national mall, in which security guards will only speak Manchu (BEIJING) — China’s State Council has announced plans to...
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It’s Started, People! President Xi Jinping Stabbed a Waitress to Death at...
Two attendants serve tea to a pair of attractive male delegates at the 2016 NPC, during which no one died All Chinese people love the “Two Sessions” period, in which unelected officials from all...
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Which Chinese dynasty are you?
Hey, it’s the Ming! Or is it the Qing? Could be the Yuan Boasting nearly 5,000 aeons of history, China is a country that has been uninterruptedly ruled by several different major dynasties, with only...
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‘Woke’ teen realizes that entire world engaged in plot to contain China
A library similar to where Jin woke from his 17-year nap SHENYANG (China Daily Show) — Raised in a rural backwater, high-school student Jin Sun, 17, has only recently realized that the entire world...
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‘Our mousetrap is open,’ Xi assures markets
By XIA DA Economic Correspondent Xi added that this was a real nice company you got here, and it would be a shame if anything were to happen to it BOAO — China’s economy welcomes foreign investment,...
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